A friend once told me, you have to put on your own oxygen mask first – then you can help others. For me, this healing journey has been through reconnecting with my body, to country and to ancestors. The journey began with the more outer layers of the body, more obvious layers of feeling bones, muscles, lines, awareness and non awareness. It then evolved to the inner layers, organs, vessels, fluids, spaces, connections. The different parts of myself, wholeness and connection with the earth and others.
The interrelationship with all things is recognised in the culture and spiritual wisdom of my Aboriginal ancestors. Connecting with the felt experience of the body, accessing feelings of safety and moving through dissociation to embodiment reignites the relationship with the earth, with Country. We remember, we are the earth.
As a biodynamic craniosacral healing therapist, my role is to hold a safe, supportive space of connection and deep listening. To be present with you as you journey into the felt experience of your body. To support you to safely be with the experience that is happening now, and assist the transmutation of the spaces that have long been held because they were too overwhelming at the time. Country is the primary holding space, the womb, offering the knowledge that we are whole, we are connected.
If we are not aware of our body, we cannot be aware of our connection with the earth. When we are experiencing disembodiment and dissociation, we need to feel safe enough on a primal level, to be able to become aware of the sensations of our body, to the felt experience of the moment. This awareness begins the journey of healing. As we delve into our sensations, we might notice that our heads feel fuzzy, that our body parts are discombobulated. For example, we may feel like our head is floating like a talking bubble and is separate from the rest of our body. We may feel that parts of us are missing, that our chest feels hard and cold like armour. We might talk about parts of our body like they are objects and not part of us. We might feel light, buzzy, absent, be aware of a fuzzy or nebulous outline, and not have a sense of particular parts of the body.
When we are feeling safe and embodied, we can access the feel, weight and shape of our feet as they connect to the earth, we might notice our body's shape and outline, our internal experience of our body and we feel clear and spacious. We experience ourselves as whole – not parts that are separate and objectified, we are unified. Connection and embodiment, this is the healing.
Some of us need to practice being connected. By doing this, we are not trying achieve something, but to allow ourselves the time and space to connect with what we are sensing and feeling in the moment. This sounds easy, and for some who have not experienced trauma, it may be. The essence of trauma is dissociation. Literally the brain has disconnected from the cognitive, felt awareness of parts of the body in order to escape from overwhelming sensory experiences that were unable to be fully processed at the time. In our cognitive view, which is often our reality, parts of our body are compartmentalised and hidden, locked away in boxes that have no labels and which are buried under layers. As we connect, in safety, as we connect to our feet on the ground, as we notice what we’re feeling in our bodies, we discover, hang on, that’s missing, that’s there, that feels soft, that feels hard, that feels separate. And in this process of feeling, sensing, being, we walk towards the attic and we begin to discover these hidden parts ourselves.
We need a guide here, some sunlight, some support to walk with us as we unpack these boxes. Those boxes are heavy, they manifest as discomfort in being in the present moment, we feel things rising and pulsing and sparking and we find ourselves exhausted or hyped up or continually in tears. It’s heavy. But with someone to walk with us, to support us to hold those feelings in the moment and recognise that the experience that overwhelmed us has now past and we are safe, that is healing.
And our identity, the more we connect, the stronger we become. If we know ourselves, we have strength, we can meet our ancestral wisdom through connecting with the wisdom of the body.
If you are looking for a guide and support on your healing journey, book a healing session here.
In healing there is always that pristine moment, where the realization, like a pin drop in a silent hall, a gasp of awe, comes the awareness in its pure and vibrant simplicity, the understanding of what actually is. The ideas and stories the mind tells suddenly wash away, though they have been eroded slowly with each step unfolding in beautiful synchronicity with the ability to handle what is being unraveled.
We do not realize something with our mind alone - the rationality far too banal to compute the depth of realization. The delicate and profound balance holds us in homeostasis, we seek and we gather but we realize when we are able, when it is essential to our growth and power.
Trusting, trusting but actually, more a knowing. Like staring at the sky filled with stars, a flicker then a falling star, make a wish, it is true. She holds us in her beautiful way and she is all knowing. There is no wisdom escaping her gaze. We cannot fast track it, we follow the path and take the lead from the guide wire of our navel. It travels, from the depths of the womb and into the depths of the foremothers, the knowledge and integration of wisdom. The be all and end all, the is. The life.